Thoughts of a lonely lover

Red like a bloody heart, white as shattered hope…
I wonder, wherever I shall go?...
As I slowly start to cry with all my might…
Many thoughts torment my mind….

The wind blows my bloody tears…
But not my dwelling fears…
Feeling chained to this first strong love…
I feel that our love connection is fading…

It’s hard to know, that we are not together now…
I am somehow losing your love towards me…
But my feelings for you still stand tall…
I cry so hard thinking about this…

I can’t help it; I love you so much…
I am madly in love with you…
Feeling this, cause me not to lay eyes on others…
But even so, what good will that do?...

I see that I am not worthy, why should I even try?...
You’re too good for me…
I am not good enough for you, for what I see…
I can’t give you anything of high value to impress you…

Many have told me to move on…
But that’s something I can’t do…
My love for you is powerful, yet pure…
My broken winged heart will not stop loving you, nor my mind…
 
I am chained to this feeling I have for you…
Chained up so tight, I can hardly breathe nor move a muscle...
Feeling weak and weary each moment…
Is it worth to feel all of this for love?...

Should I keep going or just give up?...
Feeling an awful heartache….
It’s so painful, can’t help to cry…
Because I can’t endure this pain...

I am sorry if I ever hurted you in anyway…
I am sorry if I didn’t make you feel happy at all…
I am sorry if I made you cry, I never wanted none of that…
I mean all of this from the bottom of my broken winged heart…

I know that I am not pretty at all…
I know I am not worth a penny at all, just zilch…
I know I am not meant to be here, I never was…
I knew all of this from the very beginning …

Why be here…if I can be in the otherworld of never ending ebony…
I am just a waste of space in this world…
There’s no reason to be around here at all…
I am not saying this because of this love situation…

I am saying this because of everything I have lived and passed through daily…
This life of mine is such a mess, no matter how many times I try to keep clean…
Shedding tears, but no one actually cares at all…
No one actually feels sympathy for this useless soul…

Who would actually feel anything for this outcasted hollow…
Always getting disheartened by others…
Fighting to not be disconsolate every day that passes by…
Feeling so incompetent with this force…
I don’t know what else to do; maybe I should just forsake once and for all…

Maybe once that is done, the bloodbath shadow will come for a visit…
To take possession of what is left of my life…
When this happens, it would be a complete sable night with no one around…
In which I would get my first and last kiss of death…

I will not try so hard like I used to do…
Let destiny choose my fate for me…
Doesn’t matter if I live or not anymore…
I am willing to accept my fate…
No matter what how crucial  it its………….