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Castle Down (A Secret House Poem)

I was concieved in a tube.
Sperm and egg met in strange, exchange.
Father & Mother agreed to disagree.
Have me, the deed and then leave, leave, leave.
My mother raised me as her own.
And my father went to be someone that I would never, ever know.
But here I am seventeen years.
Lived in two different towns.
Watched my mother remarried, not a man but a woman instead.
With a son and plenty of baggage of her own.
And still I see. . .
I see that parts of me that belong.
And the parts that are missing from my existence.
My hair was wavey, my mom's made of wild curls.
Her's was light brown, mine was a shade lighter then the night sky.
I was hyper and loud, talkative and crazy.
Sometimes I said things that I didn't mean to say.
My mother thought things through until they made sense.
I jumped in head first and sometimes forgot the bungee chord.
But still I grew up.
Few friends because I was walking, talking science experiment.
Without the super human powers or avian hybrid wings.
My eyes were hazel, my mother were brown.
My face held the same slenderness, but my eyes were more round.
The girl on the TV show said boys look like their mothers.
And girls look like their father.
So who do I look like then?
If the one I am meant to look like is my dad?
I love my mother, I love her to death.
But she doesn't understand, my life is a castle.
And it's about to be torn down, down, down.
Down to the ground, bricks falling into a crumble heap all around.
Because after seventeen years.
Here I stand.
My birthday.
For the first time about to meet my dad.
Who said my mother was brave for having me alone.
I was her bravery she said.
And so she named me a name that means Valour.
An act of bravery shown during a battle.
I've been battling with myself all my life.
Not knowing how to talk and comminicate with guys.
And to find out, to find out, to find out all along.
The man that is my father, this long lost father of mine.
Is the same man from my too small of town, whose son just died?
Killed himself in vain, this brother of mine that I will never know.
Because I was the girl without the dad.
The girl kept faraway.
I want to be apart of this family.
But I don't how now.
I love my mother and my father, and the truth is I want to love my brother.
But I don't know how, this long lost brother of mine.
So I had a half-brother and a father whom cared for me.
After seventeen years, it feels like it was meant to be.
A spare I am called in the eyes of the masses.
Replacing the dead son, like some lenses in some new glasses.
I am not a replacement, a spare or a back-up plan.
I never asked to be born and raised a certain way.
I just want to be normal.
And so I wil smille and wake up every day.
Take your cruel words that destroy who I am.
But you don't understand, none of you know what it's like.
To wake up one day and finally see, the missing pieces finally fall into place.
My hair, my eyes, my height, my laugh, my nervous quirks.
All came from this man, this man that I call "Dad".
And sure he missed me grow up, fall down and get back up.
But he's here now and that's all that I need.
Him to care for me now and tell me about the brother I will never know.
Be there for me.
And watch me learn, shine and grow.
I lived in a castle, a castle that soared so high.
Above cities, landscapes and oceans so wide.
A castle that on the top of that peak I sat.
Until I realized that I didn't know half of who I was.
Half of who I am.
And now I do.
And that's where I stand.
Not a spare, not a replacement, not a back-up plan.
No, my castle was torn down.
And there was alot of pain that had to be scraped away.
To find the battered rose of my soul.
Inside of the pile of rubble that I called my life.
And now I am reborn from these tragedies, secrets and dreams.
And I can finally see who I was meant to be.
And who is other half in making me, into me.

Based off my character, Valeri Thurman-LeBurn the main character to the third book of The Secret House Saga, Castle Down.