deepundergroundpoetry.com
The End
Alone in the dark
walking strait away from life
Soul pitched black without a chance to be saved
Lost
What muse has played her so
Pity no more
The crown of gold now tarnished
Remember me
Innocent eyes brought down in pain
Tears run down a bruised face
The inspiration flows out of missunderstood hands
Fool
Betrayed solitude of remorse
The pitter patter of the rain
Ice cold soothingness enrages her
The rush of a great rapid
Jump
The road now crooked.
walking strait away from life
Soul pitched black without a chance to be saved
Lost
What muse has played her so
Pity no more
The crown of gold now tarnished
Remember me
Innocent eyes brought down in pain
Tears run down a bruised face
The inspiration flows out of missunderstood hands
Fool
Betrayed solitude of remorse
The pitter patter of the rain
Ice cold soothingness enrages her
The rush of a great rapid
Jump
The road now crooked.
Published 14th Feb 2011
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Anonymous
14th Feb 2011 11:04pm
It's a little odd, but I think it works. When I first saw it, I got the illusion that it would be a pain to read, but when I started, I found that I actually quite liked it.
The ending is a little abrupt, though, and leaves you room to expand if inspiration ever comes to you. But that's just one opinion. In the end, the choice is yours.
Again, well done.
Oh, and one spelling error *straight away from life. There are some missing punctuation, so if you ever wanted to 'professionalize' it, then that can be easily corrected.
The ending is a little abrupt, though, and leaves you room to expand if inspiration ever comes to you. But that's just one opinion. In the end, the choice is yours.
Again, well done.
Oh, and one spelling error *straight away from life. There are some missing punctuation, so if you ever wanted to 'professionalize' it, then that can be easily corrected.
15th Feb 2011 4:26am
