Trapped in my Body.

Feeling hopeless and sad
Crying myself to sleep
My family looked at me with scorn
My husband is on his way out of my life forever
Why did my life had to unfold this way?
Everything I touched turns to stone
Sometimes I just feel to run away from all my hurts and worries
Leaving  everything and everyone behind
This pain needs to disappear from my heart
I'm trapped in this body of mine
Can't remember experiencing an ounce of happiness in my life
I'm tired of this life
I just want to die




All around me I see happiness and beauty
My reflection shows great pain and struggles
I'm stuck in a deep hole
Falling deeper and deeper into misery
There is no way of escaping
All my life I longed to bear children
Now that dream is shattered and torn
Countless times we tried to conceive
Every effort we failed
We tried and tried in vain
My chance for bearing children will never happen
Doctors have given up hope a long, long time in my life
Day by day I see newborn babies
I cry every time I see them smile
My heart is heavy and so broken
My mind tormented all day and night




Always pictured myself having children
Now reality has shown it's ugly side
Feel like an outcast in this world
Need to run away and hide
Dying inside my heart is aching
Plotting to take my life each day
I'm hopeless and all alone
The life I live is not even an option
I'm a nobody
My life is worthless
I just want to be happy
and live
A cloud of darkness constantly follows me
I can't bear to live honestly
The world is such an unhappy place
As i stood on the balcony
Felt a sudden urge to jump
Climbing high
I could feel the cold wind ruffling
my hair
Contemplating to do the unthinkable
At hotel room number 304
Felt a gentle hand on my shoulder
Reality struck
Suicide aborted
Cold and shaking
Wondering why my life was
spared