arrogant scumbag

Drugs and alcohol
are just a symptom of my disease
a sharpened fang
in the smiling mouth of the monster
everything i do
is drug,alcohol,sex and money driven
the violence just gets me hard
my heart is filled with hatred and vengeance
on the outside a list of names  
i've tattooed  
former friends  
x lovers
family members
many i used to care for
that i just can't forgive  
for their acts of betrayal
always battling for that #1 spot though
is lil old me and god
i can empathize
but feel no sympathy
i despise them all
especially myself
to the point that i
avoid mirrors for months at a time
always wear sunglasses
so i don't have to look anyone in the eyes
in fear that they might see
all the garbage and darkness
i keep inside
write it all down in these notebooks
and stupid lil rhymes
i have to hide
from shrinks,counselors,and police
until i can sing it live
i honestly don't care
if the holocaust
or moon landing
ever happened
i always say i want something better
but never mean it
i really just wanna get fucked up
write
play guitar and sing
have every dude who hears me  
tell everyone how awesomely talented i am
just so i can fuck their sisters and girlfriends