It Tickles There

 
We're on the couch
I'm in your lap under the blanket
It's warm and cozy, I feel safe
We're watching TV, you're rubbing my hair
I fall asleep
I feel you touching me
rubbing me
tickling
 
You stroke my legs and go under my clothes
You thumb my cotton panties with your fingers
I flinch but cannot stop you
I'm uncomfortable but I trust you
You love me
and I love you more than anything

It scares me when you rub my back 
It feels different, feels better
Your familiar touch is no longer soothing 

I don't know what it feels like,
Wrong.
Your wedding band is cold on my skin

Your breathing gets heavy when I press against you
Hands are strong and shaky
I cannot stop you
I freeze
I retreat into myself
Where your body can't reach me

Your eyes linger on my pubescent breasts
I feel dirty
I am 
You tickle and wrestle me like I was a little girl
But that look in your eyes..Hunger

It makes me so confused
Should I feel so good when you touch me?
I never knew tickling could feel so good
I know you won't do anything that would hurt me

Dad

I'm your little girl   
I adore you 
My innocent brain..I hug you close and feel you grow
I do not understand

I am throbbing
Not just my heart

You pin me down in the living room
A moment of clarity
Your face haunts me still
I reached a climax  
of fear

When I realized why it tickles there