Enough

I lay here in the dark, simply confused on where else to go, what to think and how to feel...You are the apple of my eye and yet I feel pain every time you open your mouth. I understand I fucked up before but yesterday is no more. Stop making me suffer for what I did some time ago. I was dumb, naive, and just wanted to impress you. Now all i get for putting forward an effort is that "you disgust me." "I hate you." "You're the punishment for me cheating on my exes." But yet, I love you and can't stop thinking of you. You bring so much pain as you do pleasure. You give me grief and yet you know how to smooth it over by saying you're sorry and kissing me. Yes, I love you but I'm not your door mat, I'm not a toy you can throw by the wayside and then pick up when you feel like playing with it. My pride won't let me cry but for sure I'm dying on the inside. I crumble when you tell me you wish you never met me, you wish you never left your ex. But at night you're laying next to me. So I lay here wondering when will the torture end, when will this agony be defeated. But in the back of my mind I know, It will never cease unless i tell you I've Had Enough!!!!