I feel you

More alcohol than water
more cigarettes than air
all the love she could give me  
and still I had an affair
 
I suffer in silence  
We both know I'll pay the price
but right now i'm loving every time you spend the night
 
You watch me kill myself
You know it makes me ill
quietly observing
you know this demon well
 
You've shouldered it your whole life
the burden and the urge
never understanding how people stress
aimlessly over words
 
Your quota of emotion somehow missed your name
You understand the real hurt
you realize life's true pain  
I can feel you next to me
we are one and the same
 
I can smell it
 
So close we might as well be family  
Exchanging pleasant lies you tell me you worry for me
you'll never admit you have a problem to me
fucking junkie
 
the only people who truly know me
stolen all the love for my family
jealous of how you've kept it together
you fucked up my life and then bailed for the better
I wanted you to be my wife
 
it's gone
 
we held on for too long
fingers ripped from hand
carted away from my love to a new land
search desperately for the path
that leads back to my home
I wander through the night
hopelessly alone
 
Is this the path? something doesn't feel right
Start to choke while through the cold I roam
the path to my home forever eroded by the smoke
It's a place no longer known
 
That place in my heart that we both called home,
the place where you knew you could always stay?
Yeah, I put your picture next to it so I can watch you both decay
 
Replacing you with liquid  
my rage is growing livid
better than sex I like this feeling best  
no matter how many times we do this  
I'll never be ready for what comes next
 
The slip 'n slide away from pride
Looking for places to hide
take those demons deep inside
 
you're a coward
talking about hours of sobriety but that's a terrifying notion for me
What's wrong with me
Sorry people this one ran away from me.