deepundergroundpoetry.com
Poison From A Thousand Snakes
In your veins
I'm creeping death
Like poison from
A thousand snakes
I paralyze
your spine of life
And leave for the worms
the rest that lies
Look deep
into my eyes
Behold, what lies
and waits for you...
The time has come
no need to scream
As I wrap you in
my blackened wings
and take the souls
that I possess
And leave for the worms
your rotting flesh
(this is a song written by Blood Machine protected under copyright laws)
I'm creeping death
Like poison from
A thousand snakes
I paralyze
your spine of life
And leave for the worms
the rest that lies
Look deep
into my eyes
Behold, what lies
and waits for you...
The time has come
no need to scream
As I wrap you in
my blackened wings
and take the souls
that I possess
And leave for the worms
your rotting flesh
(this is a song written by Blood Machine protected under copyright laws)
Published 2nd Feb 2011
| Edited 6th Feb 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Feb 2011 00:02am
3rd Feb 2011 1:43pm
7th Feb 2011 2:05pm
I like this one...although you say it is a song but I don't quite see its lyrical structure...would like to hear it performed.
Again good imagery and strong theme.
A question. The song is about the venom of the 1000 snakes, but at the end of the song you wrap your victim in blackened wings...which takes away the snake theme.
suggestion:
"As I wrap you in
my immortal coils"
Still loved it!
Hooded
Again good imagery and strong theme.
A question. The song is about the venom of the 1000 snakes, but at the end of the song you wrap your victim in blackened wings...which takes away the snake theme.
suggestion:
"As I wrap you in
my immortal coils"
Still loved it!
Hooded
7th Feb 2011 9:23pm
Great advice, it is indeed a song you may have heard on our myspace. It's not "neccessarily" about snakes, it's more of a weird way of describing drug addiction.
8th Feb 2011 3:31pm
...now heard it...and really enjoyed it.
I had guessed the drug addiction...but the metaphor was the snake's venom, which is why I mentioned the 'immortal coil'. It doesn't matter because it is already recorded...and when you hear it that line seems to fit effortlessly. It is always more difficult to get the feel for the words when they are just typed...in song...they work.
Good job indeed.
Hooded
I had guessed the drug addiction...but the metaphor was the snake's venom, which is why I mentioned the 'immortal coil'. It doesn't matter because it is already recorded...and when you hear it that line seems to fit effortlessly. It is always more difficult to get the feel for the words when they are just typed...in song...they work.
Good job indeed.
Hooded
