i

i've truly gotten so sick
of apologizing
for the way that i am
the conundrum
the cliche
the bullshit
tortured
starving
artist excuse

the world
that i know
is not
earth,wood,and stone

it's nickel wound strings
finding a decent vein
sending someone decent away
to repeat
replace
love and embrace
all of these same things
i hate

she says it makes me look distinguished
she likes it
the beard with a few more greys
but i can even make
someone just as bad as me
run away

me and my train wreck
her and her disaster zone
this putridness
will make you believe
in lesser gods
FEMA is frightened
both done the worst kind of things
just to try
to feel
alive
the best liars
ever

put disgrace to the pinky sware

i have murdered more
taken shorts
killed in cold blood
like it was ever warm
breathe ether and share needles

i own an armageddon
am an apocalypse
by nature

run and gun
play the guitar like a mother
fuck up phenomenologically
always got
my finger on the red button
eat,drink
fight and fuck
this message will self destruct
in
5
4
3
2
done