Outside the Lines

She asks me what color to choose
and I always have a habit
of telling her I like blue.

I sit down to talk to her
and pick up a crayon
she chooses a picture for me to color
she likes fish for come certain reason.

I watch her smile
and my eyes are aglaze
wondering if SHE notices
as my life begins to fade.

I kiss her on the forehead
tell her I'll be back soon
I wander through the house to find
myself locked in the bathroom.

I hear her laughing
as I open my pack carefully
wondering if she'll bust in at any moment
to see what I am doing.

Luckily, I have my moment
go sit at the table.
Pick up a crayon, ask HER whats her favorite
stay inside the lines, if I find myself able.

I pick her up to go to bed
lay her down so nice and sweet
tell her how much I love her
and in her dreams we'll meet.

I go back to the bathroom
do my little fun again and fall
nod out all over again
leaning against the beautifully painted walls.

Wake up 3 hours later
on the cold hard floor
wondering what the fuck I'm going to do
just to get me some more.

I stagger out to the table
see crayons lying everywhere
I start to put them in the box
and I begin to stare

I look at the paper she created
color perfectly in the lines
then next to hers a black color
much like the make up under my eyes.

Out of the lines I colored
just like my life, one more day...
I crawl in bed, to hold her once again
all alone...and so afraid.