heart chamber

I wear my heart on my sleeve? What does that even mean?
My heart is locked in a chamber
scared to  come out

Each time it does it gets smashed to a million pieces
It cracked once
Leaving me to drown in my tears

I loved this man
With all I could have
You asked why I write such dark murderous poems

Im mean always have been
But when I love I change
I get nice for some odd reason

But then after a week or month
I let go
Wrap my heart to let heal then put it in the chamber

Mama I dont wanna go
He made me love him
She asked why tears were falling

I am so hurt
Lost
Nnightmares come daily now

I lay my head down
I still feel broke
feeling fat and ugly

All because thats all anyone has ever
Ever called me


Can anyone hear me
Listen to me just once without actually saying im stupid
express and vent til im so out of it

No because they take advantage of my vulnerability
Not even my stupid boyfriend
When i am mad it just happens

I dont wear my heart on sleeve
whatever that means
Nor do I want a guy to act

Hes cute but will I take my heart out?
Never not because im incapable of love
But only because I want love to show me

Show me how to love
So I can love unconditionally
Without getting hurt and left melting on the floor