still his doll

the dumbest thing I ever did for you was have your name tattooed above my ear.
there are lesser things, things less permanent as well
changing the color of my eyes for you, piercing this and that
and letting you dress me from head to toe like a doll
so you could bring me out and start a fight with the first
guy to look my way, and the last
the last time we talked you told me so many things, like the fact that you got
off while thinking about me with other guys but were by far the most turned on
by the fact that you were my only lover and still are. my first kiss and my last
I suppose even though I can't be with you I love you more than sex, it is your
name on my lips when I have to give in to the craving and have some release.
what kind of man are you and what kind of woman am I to love a man who only
loves to destroy my innocence. who only loves me for what is good in me that
you can take away over and over again. that said, I still miss you every day
miss the way you towered over me and pushed me to my knees, the way you kissed
my tears away while you took your time and ground me to dust beneath you.
I hope you understand somehow why I had to go.