Hate Her

There are times where I just absolutely hate you
I hate for everything that you have caused me to feel
I hate for all the pain that you have caused me
I hate for all the bullshit you put me through
I hate spending 9 months of my time on you
I hate letting you in so close to me
I hate all the times where I question myself
“Am I over her?”
I hate that after ALL THIS TIME I still have a gut wrenching feeling
I hate how sometimes I just want to cry until I can cry no more
I hate how I know that I may never see or hear from you again
I hate how pathetic I feel at times
I wish you could flick off memories with a metaphorical switch inside your brain
But if that were the case for every experience in life
Then what would be the point?
The point in living?
The point in learning?
And the point of experience?
You were very close and special to me
And despite all my efforts to hate and despise you
I thank you
I thank you for all the good times we had together
I thank you for all the love and laughter
I thank you for being there for me
I thank you for the living
And the learning
Sure in the end we didn’t work out
But for all the experience and the good times spent
It was worth it