The Night.

At first, I thought, this must be manipulation;
I’d heard so many stories, I knew your reputation.
But something inside me wouldn’t let you pass me by;
You’d wink in my direction, all blue eyes and wicked smiles.
And every time our gazes clashed, I waged a war inside;
Was it worth all I’d be risking to keep you satisfied?
Of course it was worth it, and I never could have resisted.
I didn’t care about the stakes; my thoughts had become so twisted.
The first night was like a razor to my vein;
I’d never been so happy, so out of control, so insane.
The way you pulled me close as if we were meant to last;
Your cliché lines: “I could get addicted to this fast.”
And addicted is exactly the word I’d use to describe
The first time that you touched me and my senses came alive.
Those hands made me weaker than I’d ever admit;
And once we started, I didn’t know how to quit.
And you told me that labels weren’t worth using;
How could I label a moment that may as well have been my undoing?
And since that night, my thoughts have been so scattered;
Secret meetings and touches, afraid to ask if they’d mattered.
And the truth soon became clear: you wanted me for more;
But I was hesitant to believe, we’d been there before.
And in the end, I was too afraid to take the fall;
And in the end, it was you who made the call.
But the memories are burned, your skin against mine;
The tables are turned, distrust shines in your eyes.
I didn’t mean to make you feel the way I did;
I’m haunted by the words you left me with.
“I’m never this way, but I feel that this could work”;
But I was too scared to believe just petty words.
But thinking back now, I know why it hurt so much;
Because I gave into temptation and you gave me your trust.
The one thing in my life I wish I hadn’t broken;
If I could turn back time I’d have left myself wide open.
And given you the chance that you deserved;
I let my fear get in the way, but now I swear I’ve learned.
But it’s too late to go back to those passion-filled nights;
And it’s too late to change my mind.  

Damn.