Today Was a Heartbreak day...

i held back my tears today
tryin' to forget the words you say
I lay in my bed at night
tryin' to remember how things used to be when they were right
then remembering you made me feel so worthless
now I'm left filled with pain and nothingness
I shouldn't have fallen in love
cuz now I'm left laying here like I've been shoved
so much pain and no one is here and no one understands
how much I hate my life, its demands
you were one of the few who could chase it all away
but not even you were there when i just needed you, you didn't stay
now I'm trying to forget you and it's so hard to
when my heart still screams out for you
I just shouldn't have woken up today
because all I ever do is fail anyway...
I never meant to mess up so bad
but I guess it doesn't really matter how sad
or how mad or how I just want this all to end.
so sick of getting hurt because of me
how I hate me for fucking up so constantly