present ends

there was once a boy
who tore me apart
when i learned to love him
and blinded me from the sun
like an eclipse

and i will think of him
when old unwanted memories
revisit
at a time or place specific
like a stab of a knife
pain in your guts
and i wonder on the reasons why
i threw away my life 
on a soul unworthy of me.

he was a boy 
who opened my eyes to pain
and depression of a black hole
cold and hollow

yet i will think of him now
and feel good because he is gone
and i have somebody in my life
whose beautiful soul can
whisper into my heart
and heal every wound i built
teaching me how to relive the minutes
i have lost with pain.

and i now find
the courage to smile because
he keeps me together
as i learn to love him
and turn me towards the sun
when there is rain in my mind.