Lies and Love Letters

(15 minute writing challenge.)



I’m sitting in the middle of an empty coffee shop doodling lies and love letters on every napkin I can find.

I only have 15 minutes to write all of this down.  How can I when all my thoughts are bouncing around in my head, and the loner poet guy in the corner keeps staring at me as if he knows exactly what I’m doing?  I could take hours, weeks--years even telling you what’s really on my mind.  How much I care about you.  I yearn to curl up next to your warmth at night, as you hum sweet nothing in my ear and grip me tight.

However--I am unable to come up with enough words, those above were to cliché for my liking anyway!--They are stuck between a pulsing heart and a quivering voice box.  I’m afraid to say ‘I love you’, as I’ve come to believe those three syllables will one day be my downfall.  I suppose, they already have been.  And--I’d like to say I am content standing on the sidelines, but that’s a fucking lie.  And I use the word ‘fucking’ loosely--as in I am tired of seeing you with him, when I could be so much better. 

I’ve ripped an angry hole through this napkin just thinking about it, with blue ink staining the table top underneath.  I’ll clean that up later, but for now I must write you this.-- 

I’ve known you for a long time, been longing for you longer.  And I see those looks you keep giving him, and the longing looks you give the other guys as they walk on by.  You are plotting these boys downfalls--one at a time. 

I love you, but refuse to be your Troy.