Z to A - Life (written for Mariah's A TO Z IN REVERSE comp.)

zest for life gone
yesterday’s tomorrow, repeats today
xenogenic thoughts build in my head,
while I watched the dread fill up my chest
vulnerable,
unable to deal with any of it
this black plague of anxiety
slicing my throat to bloody shreds
razors dance across aching skin
quietly, in my sleep,
psychotic dreams kill me again
once again tears of anguish streamed down my cheeks
no safe place for myself to hide anymore
my wounds were bleeding when I awoke
left alone, with no safe place,
keep my insecurities in check
jagged and sharp thoughts
infection to my psyche
hallucinations illuminate upon my darkened heart
grinding pain that never ends
frozen fear, whispered words
ensuing panic attack
Destiny becomes clear
crimson stains upon satin sheets,
black pain flows from a darkened place
and I watched the blood fill up my lungs