I Can Now Feel

I can feel my heart beating, out of my chest.
Overwhelming emotions cloud my mind
Some days I feel cursed, some days I feel blessed,
No logical thinking, my mind is just blind.

It’s all on repeat, like a broken record player,
Memories like these never seem to fade,
So before I rest my head I say a little prayer,
To hope that one day I will not be afraid.

Not to be afraid of those voices I hear,
No longer have to live in fear.
To smile as soon as I wake,
To know that my happiness isn’t fake.

It will happen one day, I promise it will,
All my aspirations and dreams will soon be fulfilled.
No more terror filled nightmares,
No more unnecessary tears,
No more constant heart repairs
No more hating myself for years.

One day I will hold a smile,
The brightest you’ll ever see,
To be able to stare at myself for a while,
Without wanting to cry and flee.
I’ll be able to be alone,
I won’t need the constant help,
I won’t need to use my phone,
I won’t need to moan and yelp.

I will make myself this way,
I won’t need to run away,
Just please have faith in me,
Because one day I will be free.