deepundergroundpoetry.com
Simple Things
That old cliche about life being hard
is a trueism,
and workin' outside in the elements turns
men to leather quick enough
but I never need remindin'
to get lost in the scent
and the luster
and the silent silk
of my woman's hair tumbling like the sea
through my sun burnt hands.
is a trueism,
and workin' outside in the elements turns
men to leather quick enough
but I never need remindin'
to get lost in the scent
and the luster
and the silent silk
of my woman's hair tumbling like the sea
through my sun burnt hands.
Published 8th Nov 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 767
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2013 10:49am
8th Nov 2013 10:48am
The choice of words here is genius. This is very much a male poem so I feel hypocritical judging it as a female. There's some seething testosterone in here. Intentional or not, I like the use of the words "life being hard" in the first stanza. It's a subtle sexually suggestive statement that takes us on to your woman in the second stanza.
The whole short piece in itself is a salute to simplicity. Ties in with the title so well. I like the colloquial language, the signal that this is you, and this is how it is, and this is your message. Simply brilliant.
Reading listed, for its sheer simplistic elegance. Thank you for the read.
The whole short piece in itself is a salute to simplicity. Ties in with the title so well. I like the colloquial language, the signal that this is you, and this is how it is, and this is your message. Simply brilliant.
Reading listed, for its sheer simplistic elegance. Thank you for the read.
3rd May 2014 5:52am
