My best friend to no end

My narcissism looks better naked in the mirror than yours.

My narcissism sleeps with a more beautiful me.
My narcissism gets bored of your war stories that don’t end in the ending of you.

My narcissism wears suits to potluck lunches and looks up the word egocentric on a smartphone at the table, before using it casually and incorrectly in a sentence.
“The chicken was splendid but the potatoes were eccentric;” it ignores the awkward silences it creates.

My narcissism chats with my need for validation and convinces it – this is not okay to say publicly if it gets no likes.