deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alone
The fog settled neatly above and beneath
veiling the streets
It densely hovered in and around town
walking was difficult
I could hear something machine like in the
distance coming closer
Something flapping and fluttering
like sticks snapping
Not even my shadow followed me into the
foggy unknown
I was alone in the cold damp wetness of
the fog
Alone
veiling the streets
It densely hovered in and around town
walking was difficult
I could hear something machine like in the
distance coming closer
Something flapping and fluttering
like sticks snapping
Not even my shadow followed me into the
foggy unknown
I was alone in the cold damp wetness of
the fog
Alone
Published 19th Oct 2013
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Anonymous
19th Oct 2013 5:45pm
Tony i like this, it has very serene quiet tone with the imagery of loneliness so well portrayed but if you dont mind if i point out couple of small tweaks and imho ofcourse
I could hear sounds of a machine in the
distance coming closer
i think using the word 'something' twice in such a small poem is a bit distracting, so closely placed.
I could hear sounds of a machine in the
distance coming closer
i think using the word 'something' twice in such a small poem is a bit distracting, so closely placed.
21st Oct 2013 6:02pm
