deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lonely Soul 👼
Alone I sit
on the shoreline
in the cold silence,
waiting for you.
Under the moon,
I hear you whisper.
A voice,
so soft and pure.
I wait all night till dawn.
But you never appear.
It seems as though,
we're just too far apart.
~~All my poems are copyright of 2012 and 2013. No part of my poems are to be copied without my permission. Thank you!
on the shoreline
in the cold silence,
waiting for you.
Under the moon,
I hear you whisper.
A voice,
so soft and pure.
I wait all night till dawn.
But you never appear.
It seems as though,
we're just too far apart.
~~All my poems are copyright of 2012 and 2013. No part of my poems are to be copied without my permission. Thank you!
Published 13th Oct 2013
| Edited 6th Nov 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 8
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
13th Oct 2013 11:50pm
Very nice piece
13th Oct 2013 11:54pm
Anonymous
14th Oct 2013 1:30am
Good ink Dream. Somewhat lyrical as I'm reminded of a Norah Jones tune. an experience hard to understand or accept but all too common. :/
15th Oct 2013 2:08am
Thank you for reading I appreciate it! This poem is based on a dream of waiting to be with someone you love who passed away or someone you dream of meeting, which ever way you look at it.
Me, I wrote it thinking about my favorite celeb who has passed and I dream of sitting at a beautiful place like on a beach, and I can imagine the sound of his voice, and I dream (wait) to see him but he never comes.
Something that just inspired me :)
Me, I wrote it thinking about my favorite celeb who has passed and I dream of sitting at a beautiful place like on a beach, and I can imagine the sound of his voice, and I dream (wait) to see him but he never comes.
Something that just inspired me :)
16th Oct 2013 1:31am
very nice
your one of those that doesn't take alot of words to give u all the emotional conviction U need in writing...awesome
your one of those that doesn't take alot of words to give u all the emotional conviction U need in writing...awesome
16th Oct 2013 1:37am
18th Oct 2013 7:42am
this poem is really very well done. personally, it's actually been years since i've written anything with much tender longing in it, but that's just me.
it really does seem quite a beautiful piece.
i would however like to say the last two lines--the last two lines--again, there really doesn't need to be a comma at the end of the second-to-last line. and maybe it could do without the "as though" as well. i think "It seems" has a touch less of a weepy feel to it than the line is the way you have it.
it really does seem quite a beautiful piece.
i would however like to say the last two lines--the last two lines--again, there really doesn't need to be a comma at the end of the second-to-last line. and maybe it could do without the "as though" as well. i think "It seems" has a touch less of a weepy feel to it than the line is the way you have it.
18th Oct 2013 2:41pm
Thank you so much, I appreciate your comment on this.
You're right on that maybe it doesn't need a comma in the last stanza. I'll keep that in mind.
"I think "it seems" has a touch less of a weepy feel to it". That was kind of my point. I was trying to get that weepy feel to it at the end.
You're right on that maybe it doesn't need a comma in the last stanza. I'll keep that in mind.
"I think "it seems" has a touch less of a weepy feel to it". That was kind of my point. I was trying to get that weepy feel to it at the end.
