stochastic monastic

i'd like to slip her the old rubber band,
if you know what i'm saying (overly bombastic)
but where would i slip such a slithery strand
and why wouldn't she slap my hand
when i grope her too iconoclastic?

most would say she makes them hard
and that's coolly impersonal (so onomastic!)
but every hint of priapsis for me is too lard
stiff as a slinky i'm so avant-garde
my sin stick is so ecclesiastic

the problem is that i cannot see
what holes i can reach (starched elastic!)
cuz her power over me
is her invisibility
so i'll just fuck me, Mr. Fantastic