The Pain

of not believing
when someone says they are there
for you

that they love you
and it is your own doubt
and disbelief in words
because they have always
done you harm

even when there
was love behind them
and instead of trusting
you add doubt and
frustration, because not everyone
is bad, not everyone lies
behind those three words
uttered way to often

that just the sound of them
brings fear and creates
turmoil inside my heart
and i question everything

why? what does it really mean?
what does he really want?
does he mean it?

and by accident
one of those doubts is uttered,
and in an instant
I realize that everything
he has told me
he speaks truthfully,
from his heart
his reaction says it all

and if I lose this time,
it will be my own doing
for having placed
that out there
that I didn't trust it

when he said...

I Love You