alone by the window

i lean out my window
light a cigarette, listening to the faint sounds
of the neighbours arguing
a gush of air
and the clouds move at an uncanny pace
i watch a stranger walk by
five floors down
and the world is illuminated
with a blur of sounds

i fill my lungs with disease
and exhale nothing
then all is still

deep inside there is a place where
everything is captive and buried
i try to release but i have forgotten
the skill
and all is still.

the clouds have died
the world is silent
the sky is silent
i am silent.

it all feels
lonely.