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FALLING AWAY
Falling away.
Falling away.
I cant stand to see my own face.
I break the reflection I see.
I want nothing to do with it.
Then you look at me.
You tell me I am beautiful.
Tell me of love.
Even though you are from another world I believe u still.
I want to feel your touch one day, even if it is just a brush across the lips.
I want to feel you wrapped around me tight and warm.
You make me want to dance.
You make me smile even when I want to frown.
The only thing I fear right now,
Is a life without you.
Falling away.
I cant stand to see my own face.
I break the reflection I see.
I want nothing to do with it.
Then you look at me.
You tell me I am beautiful.
Tell me of love.
Even though you are from another world I believe u still.
I want to feel your touch one day, even if it is just a brush across the lips.
I want to feel you wrapped around me tight and warm.
You make me want to dance.
You make me smile even when I want to frown.
The only thing I fear right now,
Is a life without you.
Published 11th Jan 2011
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12th Jan 2011 7:51pm
i liked this very much u have a talent can i also thank you for subscribing to my reading list have you been writing long i see u are a new member so welcome to DU Poetry
keep writing
keep writing
22nd Jan 2011 3:24am
the first eight lines are wonderful for you're beginning the transformation from being repulsed by your image to feeling beautiful because you are loved--this is what I would stay with in this poem: the magical thing called love and how it makes us all feel beautiful because we are loved.
You've got one of the best universal themes here.
First the darkness, then the light and culminating in a crescendo of joy--that's my opinion, anyway, to stay with one theme.
After this couple breaks up, then you could write about loss and fear and how gullibe you were when you believed all those promises never kept. So you've got the makings of two great poems here--Jim.
You've got one of the best universal themes here.
First the darkness, then the light and culminating in a crescendo of joy--that's my opinion, anyway, to stay with one theme.
After this couple breaks up, then you could write about loss and fear and how gullibe you were when you believed all those promises never kept. So you've got the makings of two great poems here--Jim.
14th Mar 2011 10:09pm
It brings out fear of rejection, being hurt, feeling a glimpse of something positive that reconfirms value...thanks girl! its inspired me today i needed this one
