deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tell me, What would you do?
'What would you do
if your best friend turned on you?
If the only person who could make you smile
was the reason that you were crying?
If you woke up in the morning
alone, an empty bed
because the one for you
was waking up next to another?
If you didn't know who you were
or where you belong?
If the only way to express your feelings
was through poems that no one reads?
If you went to school, and sat alone
"Don't do that." - always in trouble, and didn't care?
Nothing matters anymore.
What if you failed in life, and in love
because you didn't know the difference?
If your family didn't understand you
and no one else does?
If you fake a smile everyday
because you hate the attention?
You cry yourself to sleep.
If your friends think you lie
and you don't tell them anything?
It's because they tell the world,
if you never feel safe. (What is safe?)
(Safety is..) and you're not.
Everyone says you're 'Emo'
because your smile turns to tears.
What if your life was nearly over
but it hadn't even started?
What would you do if...'
if your best friend turned on you?
If the only person who could make you smile
was the reason that you were crying?
If you woke up in the morning
alone, an empty bed
because the one for you
was waking up next to another?
If you didn't know who you were
or where you belong?
If the only way to express your feelings
was through poems that no one reads?
If you went to school, and sat alone
"Don't do that." - always in trouble, and didn't care?
Nothing matters anymore.
What if you failed in life, and in love
because you didn't know the difference?
If your family didn't understand you
and no one else does?
If you fake a smile everyday
because you hate the attention?
You cry yourself to sleep.
If your friends think you lie
and you don't tell them anything?
It's because they tell the world,
if you never feel safe. (What is safe?)
(Safety is..) and you're not.
Everyone says you're 'Emo'
because your smile turns to tears.
What if your life was nearly over
but it hadn't even started?
What would you do if...'
Published 11th Jan 2011
| Edited 13th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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A really beautiful piece.
Few edits:
'What would you do
if your best friend turned on you?
If the only person who could make you smile
was the reason that you were crying?
If you woke up in the morning
alone, an empty bed
because the one for you
was waking up next to another?
If you didn't know who you were
or where you belong?
If the only way to express your feelings
was through poems that no one reads?
If you went to school, and sat alone
"Don't do that." - always in trouble, and didn't care?
Nothing matters anymore.
What if you failed in life, and in love
because you didn't know the difference?
If your family didn't understand you
and no one else does?
If you fake a smile everyday
because you hate the attention?
You cry yourself to sleep.
If your friends think you lie
and you don't tell them anything?
It's because they tell the world,
if you never feel safe. (What is safe?)
(Safety is..) and you're not.
Everyone says you're 'Emo'
because your smile turns to tears.
What if your life was nearly over
but it hadn't even started?
What would you do if...'
It ends cliffhung and grammatically correct, watch your spelling of 'no one' think of 'no' as in 'I don't want' and then 'one' so it's like alone. All in all I loved the teen angst, the relatability of the school-doing youth. I've also made it not 'waking up next to the wrong girl but another person' because it sounds better relating to all sexes and types of couples. Also by saying another and not wrong you are saying that you can picture that person being you and that would not be wrong.
Well done on the storyline and the very punchy-lines. I thought that was really well done.
Few edits:
'What would you do
if your best friend turned on you?
If the only person who could make you smile
was the reason that you were crying?
If you woke up in the morning
alone, an empty bed
because the one for you
was waking up next to another?
If you didn't know who you were
or where you belong?
If the only way to express your feelings
was through poems that no one reads?
If you went to school, and sat alone
"Don't do that." - always in trouble, and didn't care?
Nothing matters anymore.
What if you failed in life, and in love
because you didn't know the difference?
If your family didn't understand you
and no one else does?
If you fake a smile everyday
because you hate the attention?
You cry yourself to sleep.
If your friends think you lie
and you don't tell them anything?
It's because they tell the world,
if you never feel safe. (What is safe?)
(Safety is..) and you're not.
Everyone says you're 'Emo'
because your smile turns to tears.
What if your life was nearly over
but it hadn't even started?
What would you do if...'
It ends cliffhung and grammatically correct, watch your spelling of 'no one' think of 'no' as in 'I don't want' and then 'one' so it's like alone. All in all I loved the teen angst, the relatability of the school-doing youth. I've also made it not 'waking up next to the wrong girl but another person' because it sounds better relating to all sexes and types of couples. Also by saying another and not wrong you are saying that you can picture that person being you and that would not be wrong.
Well done on the storyline and the very punchy-lines. I thought that was really well done.
12th Jan 2011 6:09am
Enjoyed the edits and the way you put this together. It does make one feel that someone so young can grasp deeply anyone in the path of life's pain and sorrow in this way, remarkable work! ;')
13th Jan 2011 12:25pm
Thanks, yea i agree with the edits, ill change it now :) Yea im 14 but i have been through alot in life..
