"Why Are You Being Such A Sphincter ?" ... A Poem written by Big Virge 24/8/2006

I Was With A Female Friend ...      
When Our Conversation Led ...          
         
To ... Condescending Sinners ... !!!        
Who Are CLEARLY ... Walking Sphincters ... !!!!!        
         
Those Who THINK Their SHIT DON'T STINK ... ?!?        
And Think Their Views Are ... EVER SO COOL ... !?!        
         
Which Of Course Allows Them ...          
To Talk ... DOWN To You ... ?!?          
         
Now If You Don't Know What A Sphincter Is ... ?        
It's A Muscle That's Shaped ... Kind of Like A Ring ...          
         
Like The One That OPENS ...        
When You've GOT TO GO ... !!!!!        
Or In Other Words ...        
What We Call An ... ASSHOLE ... !!!!!        
         
Now You Know The Type About Whom I Write ...          
Those Who Talk To You ...        
Whilst Looking Down Their Nose ... !!!        
         
Ignorant Clowns ...        
Who Should Keep Their Mouths CLOSED ... !!!        
         
I've Seen Them Come ...        
I've Seen Them ... GO ........................          
         
Many of Them Claim To Write Prose ...          
And Some of Them Attempt To Host Live Shows ... !!!        
         
Spoken Word ... Or Radio ...  ?        
Many of Them Really Should STAY HOME ... !!!!!          
         
Instead of Making RIDICULOUS Quotes ... !?!        
That Clearly SHOWS What's Up Their Nose ... !!!!!        
         
TV's The Same .... !!!        
Because of ... " FAME " ... !!!!!        
         
These People THINK They're ... " Oh So Slick " ... !!!!!        
When Clearly They're The ...  " WEAKEST Link " ... !!!!!        
         
Come On Now Folks ... !!!        
Haven't You Had ENOUGH ... ?!?        
of ... " Sphincter Clowns " ... !!!        
Whose Noses Are BROWN ... !!!        
         
They're CLEARLY SICK Because They LICK ...          
THAT ... ANAL Hole Where SHIT Comes Out ... !!!!!        
         
Now Captain Kirk And His Crew May Be Quite BOLD ... !!!        
But That's A Black Hole They WON'T Boldly Go ... !!!!!        
         
YES That's A JOKE But TRUST Me Folks ...        
Human Sphincters Have Sold Their Souls ... !!!        
         
Let Those Words SOAK ...          
BEYOND The Sphincter You Call Your Throat ... !!!        
         
Who Do You Know Who Acts Like This ... ?          
Men That Snitch or Women Who BITCH ... ?        
         
We All Know ONE Who Lives By Tricks ...          
And Think That THEY Are ... " Oh So GREAT " ... !!!          
         
Or INTELLECTUALS ...        
Who Think They're COOL ...          
Because They've Been To .... " Festivals " ...        
         
Where Hip Hop Played And They Heard Reggae ...        
         
"I say, I say, have you heard that tune,        
by those two coloured youths ?        
They were so good that i'm, down with the hood !"        
         
Now Replies Like THIS ...        
Tend To Leave Them FLUSTERED ... !!!          
         
"You said that, they were, coloured,        
could you be more exact,        
were they Green, Pink or Yellow ?        
or, are you saying they were black ?        
So now you're, down with the hood ?        
Don't you live in St. John's Wood !?!        
In actual fact, don't you have another flat ?        
Somewhere in, Upper Sheen        
A place where, coloured people        
are rarely ever seen, unless        
they're there to clean !"        
         
These People Live In ... " Dreams " ...        
In Comfort Zones With ... MEANS ... !!!!!!        
         
A Stash of Cash That Could Buy Ki's of ... "GREEN" ... !!!!!        
YES ... Ki's of Weed Enough To FEED ...        
Drug Families Right Here And Overseas ... !!?!!        
         
Trust Me ... " BELIEVE " ...        
Rich People Aren't All Squeaky Clean ... !!!!!        
         
That's Why STRAIGHT SPEAK ...        
Makes Them Feel ... WEAK ... !!!!!        
         
When My Friend And I Sat And Analysed ...          
         
I Said To Her ....        
         
"These human sphincters, make me sick !        
I'll write a script, that lyrically flips,        
and sheds some light on these Bourgeois Types,        
who think they're right, whether day or night,        
because they're living life alright !"        
         
They AREN'T Afraid of More Price HIKES ...          
Because Their Father Sets The Price ... !!!        
To Ensure That He Gets ... " A BIG SLICE " ... !!!!!        
To Pay For His Home In The ... COUNTRYSIDE ...          
         
His ...        
SECOND Home Oh Yes That's Right .... !!!!!        
And The Four By Four For His GREEDY Wife ...          
Who CANNOT Drive But Wants The Car Because ...        
It's Price Is ...... " HIGH " ...... !!?!!        
         
These People Live A ... DIFFERENT Life ...       
Then Talk To Us Like We DON'T HAVE A Mind ... !!!        
         
But What About THOSE Who Are EVEN WORSE ... !!!!!        
         
Bourgeoise WANNABES' ... !?!       
Who Try To Be Like The BOURGEOISIE ... !!!        
         
When They Live At Number 9 ...        
Down The Very Next Street ... !?!        
         
Living In DEBT Like Everyone Else ... ?!?        
ALL SHOW And ... NO TELL ... ???        
         
With Their Nose In The Air ...        
Cos' They DON'T Like The Smell ...        
of Their Own FAKE Lives ...        
And Their ... FAKE Insights ... !!!        
         
The Only Time They're NOT FAKE Is When THEY LIE ... !!!!!        
Take A Minute And THINK ...        
Then REWIND That Line Inside Your Mind ... !!!        
         
The Lives They Lead Are So CONTRIVED ... !!!          
That's Why They Don't Like The Words I Write ... !!!          
         
Condescending Termites Well REALITY BITES ... !!!        
And As Time Flies They May Just Find ... ?        
That Thoughts They TRUST May Leave Them STUCK ... !!!!!        
         
And Those of Them ...        
Who Live Life ... "BLINKERED" ...          
         
WILL Fall Foul of ....        
Those of Us Who Are THINKERS ..... !!!        
         
Who Look At Them Thinking ...        
         
"Why Are You Being        
Such A SPHINCTER !?!"