deepundergroundpoetry.com
Our Dance
Our movements as one
To an otherworldly tempo
Cascading freedom soaks me to the bone
For no obstacle can stop her flow
So the same shall be said of mine
Thundering skies clap to the rhythm
The beat only the privileged may hear
Lightening splits the darkness
Illuminating this moment in eternity
Surrounded by her
And yet just out of my grasp
The others look on
Unable to hear the storms' siren song
For they listen with their ears
While I with my soul
They must think me a fool
But somewhere inside
They too
Long to dance with the rain
To an otherworldly tempo
Cascading freedom soaks me to the bone
For no obstacle can stop her flow
So the same shall be said of mine
Thundering skies clap to the rhythm
The beat only the privileged may hear
Lightening splits the darkness
Illuminating this moment in eternity
Surrounded by her
And yet just out of my grasp
The others look on
Unable to hear the storms' siren song
For they listen with their ears
While I with my soul
They must think me a fool
But somewhere inside
They too
Long to dance with the rain
Published 25th Sep 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
25th Sep 2013 4:23pm
I loved this especially the last three lines (due to me being a rain lover to the extreme). My only complaint is there are some moments where they should break off into stanzas because the constant stream just doesn't work entirely.
However, this is a great read!
However, this is a great read!
25th Sep 2013 5:58pm
Thank you for the read and im glad you enjoyed it. After re-reading it I can see what youre saying. Thanks for the pointers :)
25th Sep 2013 4:25pm
This reminds me of my poem "dancing to the heartbeats only our souls could hear."
We too, long to dance in the rain...so beautiful and romantic!
We too, long to dance in the rain...so beautiful and romantic!
25th Sep 2013 5:59pm
Anonymous
25th Sep 2013 10:08pm
Very lovely with soft edges
[For they listen with their ears
While I with my soul ]
so true, we need to remember those lines, often.
[For they listen with their ears
While I with my soul ]
so true, we need to remember those lines, often.
26th Sep 2013 00:40am
Thanks again vee. Its always a pleasure to read your thoughts on my work :)
