Skeleton

Behind the smiles
Behind the bright eyes
Behind the mask that I paint on
Every. Fucking. Day
There's a skeleton in the mirror
Every time I look at her all I see is bones
There's nothing there anymore
It's hollow
The flesh seared away in the fire that I had thought was love
The blood oozed out carelessly before I took the knife to finish the job
I paint on the makeup
Just enough to look pretty
Just enough to look human, to look alive, like a breathing creature
But I stopped breathing almost two years ago
My once soft skin replaced with cold,hard bone
Ivory colored and smooth as a child's skin, but cold like the icy tundra
You'll never see what hides behind this mask
I wear it so naturally it almost feels like I still have hold of myself
Look closely and you'll see the hollowed out sockets where tears run dry
Check inside my little black bag, the one I always carry with me
Go ahead, look, you'll find my still beating heart.
Ripped out of my chest I still carry it around in hopes someone will come along and make me a real girl again
It's all a lie
Everything I say, no I'm not okay, but I can't seem to find the words as to explain why
I try and try, but I just step onto another land mine before I can untwist these raging thoughts going on inside my head
Continuously I stare enviously at my brothers resting in their graves
Why couldn't I sleep forever?
Just sleep six feet under
Instead of trudging along among the living