Linger

I want to hold on
I can't let go
Of the old sweater that smells like  
Easier times
The green grass
Humid skies
Garden snakes
Of my uncle and aunt still loving me
Of my father and I laying down in the attic
Listening to sad sorrows of eastern women
Feeling shortchanged
By some man
Who would not be that different
Than you
 
I want to hold on to the pen
That you put in your mouth
Contemplating about what you should write to me
 
I want to hold on to my pottery that you spat on  
Because you said it meant that it was yours
 
I want to keep the seashell I found
I kissed it before I threw it back in the ocean
Licking the salt off of my lips
If you ever found yourself stranded
I prayed it would find you
The way it found me
 
I have a hard time letting go
Scared to forget the texture of your palm
The light lines, palmists say that indicates
Emotion
My father said it indicates sensitivity
 
 
I don't want to let go of the stupid photos on my phone
Of my brothers and I on our long drives to nowhere
It reminds me that they will leave soon
I'll probably to get married to some guy  
He'll probably get married to some girl
And sometimes we'll go weeks without talking
 
 
I don't want to end up like my uncle  
 
I don't want to let go of my prom dress
My mom put her tiny diligent hands to
Making the cuts just how I like it
I don't want to forget her sacrifices for me
When I didn't even deserve it
 
I hate time
I hate how it moves
I hate how life is condensed into looking forward  
College, the real world, Marriage,  retirement
When will it get better?
Where is the window of time
 
I pray for heaven
So I can kiss you
To lie down in the grass
Humid air
Amongst garden snakes and country accents
To give my uncle a hug
To build my mother a gold house in paradise
To go on long drives with my brother
To lay down and listen to music with my father
 
 
I dream to linger, after lying down with you and holding hands
I don't want to let go of that moment
Sun beating down on your skin
Dust specs twinkling in the air  
Your lips swollen, don't go to work
don't go to school yet
just give me two more minutes
Don't look forward
Can't we just stay here for a little while?