to ugly bob

to ugly bob,
and fat fred,
and hairy harry,
and balding bradley.

everybody talks about dark, tall, chiseled and handsome.
so here's to pale, short, flabby and hideous.

everything has to have an opposite.
you're the opposite of our prince charming.

with your armor of tinfoil and the aging grey donkey you ride,
you're the classic definition of "repulsive".

but hey, wanna hear a secret?
we can't take our eyes off you.

so here's to you,
antifantasy.