At Work

Curly hair still makes me jump
As do the dates on cakes
When they make me closer to you.
I've never been so self-indulgent
brash and pitiful
indignant or so critical.
I wouldn't sleep near this
                needing nightmares to escape
                the day
For so much of that I'm sorry.

Being covered in white hand prints signals the end
in so many ways
no one's touched me in a long time
but still I can't escape feeling like someone always has hold
entire control.

I can't throw myself into anything when all my body knows is waiting.
For everything to resolve
take its almost perfect hold
and cradle me again
till I'm beautifully absolved.