I need to die...

To compare within my prison within my hidden soul.
Only about when I'm up, ironically mistaken.
Damned and in the wrong, falling. Guidance misconception.  
Resist the light, just walk, my inner speech.
To weak to listen much less care.
Preparing for my life of internal despair.
To say sorry but contemplate my action with a request already known of fate?
My fear. Death is my calling, yet my falling.
Death is my desire, but shall I retire ? My wrists so warm yearning for a razor. Blood, what beauty.
My reward is a punishment. Only seen within me.
For I know who I am.
And who I am deserves to die...