Filthy Girl

Yes,
I'm talking about myself.
Everybody tells me,
Your a filthy girl.
I hear it from the teachers,
I hear it from te students.

Everywhere I go,
I'm surrounded by it.
I try to get away,
But it all just follows me.

It gets harder and harder,
to live my life.
I want it all to end,
suicide has come to my mind many times.

I've attempted it,
ten times in the past year.
Most of you will say I'm lying.
But this is the truth.
My life is full of hate,
I can't stand it anymore.

I've tried getting help,
I've tried everything.
Nothing will ever change.
Nothing will ever go away.

My life is  fucked,
And I have no one.

I've had that rope,
around my neck.
I've stood on that chair,
and stepped off.

The only reason,
Why I am here.
Is my sister found me.
Hanging there,
turning bright blue.

She called for my parents,
They got me down and called the ambulance.
I was in hospital for 5 days.
Yet i still haven't been diagnosed for depression,
Sent to a counciller for,
I've gotten nothing...

I must be that filthy girl.
Everyone calls me it...