feeling

feeling the burn of the vodka as it hits your thought
feeling  the burn of the cigarette right after
feeling his eyes on as you take that final drag
knowing,just knowing he will have something to say just after
wanting him so bad it hurts,
he is with you now,
you wish you were dead, knowing he means enough to you that you would quit it all
wishing you could feel his touch,his lips,just him, one more time,
know what it feels like to be his,
you want to feel normal again so you take another sip, another cigarette out of the pack light and drag, and then he leaves you finish and leave too wanting it all to go away and it wont it never will that feeling of being alone, the depression, the everything