The Blood Bath

Sitting alone
On my bed
As the sun shone
Through the window
I cut to the bone
With a small razor
My skin tone
Became nonexistent 
A loud moan
Of pure pain
Flinch; my blood flown
Across the room 

Rain. Bloody rain.
I jumped to clean
The puddles forming
There wasn't even that much
But it seemed to be growing 
The blood multiplying
I look down
What were small slits
Painted my leg red
The walls were closing
The blood wouldn't stop
My room now a closet 
Was filling with blood
A pool of ruby red
So much, I put pressure 
On it but the blood 
Didn't just leak
It was a fire hose 
The pressure bruised me

My leg went numb
As I began to float

I don't know how
This is possible
But isn't it what 
I wanted
Other poison drained?
Or was it something else.
Did I want the scars to 
Distract people from 
The true pain behind them
What was suppose to help me
Became too much
Too addicting

I taste iron
The metallic taste
My blood is-
I cough it out
I am drowning 
By the blood that
I
Released?
I can't float anymore
A mouth full
And I begin to sink
My eyes roll back
My thoughts fade
I wanted this . . . 

I scream myself awake
I choke on nothing
Lying in a pool of sweat
I cough on the tears 
And the memories
They seem so real
So unbelievably real
I move towards the spot
Where my blade hides
I hold it between my fingers
Hovering above the trash
I take a seat back on my bed
I pull my loose left pant leg up
And I slice with a shaky hand
Trying to figure out if the dream
Was
A threat
Or
A 
Promise