Again

I feel like I cannot breathe,
seeing her with you, seeing him with me.
Seeing our past and knowing it cannot ever
be revived.

We lived that time together, don't you remember?
Aren't there even
embers left burning in our burned out fires?

I do not desire you, and my love has faded
but the look on her face and yours...
I want to scream until I am hoarse, until
my voice is lost into the darkness that is my confused
wants.

Our past haunts me,
its tortures and taunts me,
you were everything, and now we are nothing.

I have him, the very antithesis of you,
the very thing I pursued,
the one I know I can love in time,
but to find you so happy, it still burns.

It makes me secretly yearn for what we lost,
the cost
our relationship took on both of us, was very high.
So while I do not cry, and my eyes are dry,
I realize fully, wholly
that our pages are burned,
never to be read again,
never to be heard.

God give me strength to find love
                                   again.