deepundergroundpoetry.com
Goodbye.
I am broken
My mind has spoken
Hurt me, kill me
Give me the key
I want to unlock the gate
I am defined by hate
Black is nothing, a hole with no floor
Give me an end, because the beginning is no more
Lie on the railway tracks, jump then fall
Close your eyes, say goodbye to it all....
My mind has spoken
Hurt me, kill me
Give me the key
I want to unlock the gate
I am defined by hate
Black is nothing, a hole with no floor
Give me an end, because the beginning is no more
Lie on the railway tracks, jump then fall
Close your eyes, say goodbye to it all....
Published 1st Dec 2010
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1st Dec 2010 1:01am
1st Dec 2010 4:19am
1st Dec 2010 12:33pm
I like the way you jump from train tracks to offing from a building. I think it shows the line of thought. It's clever and short, I usually suffer with short but this makes entire sense in the few lines it has. Nice work. :)
1st Dec 2010 11:36pm
Thank you so much, I suppose I don't stay on the same thought for long hence the shortness :P Lul
Sincerely, me <:)
Sincerely, me <:)
9th Dec 2010 9:25am
Good rhyming and excellent imagery...
"Give me the key
I want to unlock the gate
I am defined by hate
Black is nothing, a hole with no floor
Give me an end, because the beginning is no more"
Another great piece.
"Give me the key
I want to unlock the gate
I am defined by hate
Black is nothing, a hole with no floor
Give me an end, because the beginning is no more"
Another great piece.
9th Dec 2010 10:31pm
20th Dec 2010 4:31am
"Give me an end, because the beginning is no more"
it gets me thinking...
thank you for a great poem.
it gets me thinking...
thank you for a great poem.
21st Dec 2010 5:19am
19th Jan 2011 11:20pm
with uratallone here.... that line to me has left me pondering upon my own heart and emotions and it realyl is a vivid line full of imagery... as is the whole poem.
great work. sad but very relatable indeed my dear precious, poetess
great work. sad but very relatable indeed my dear precious, poetess
