Looking For Light

All alone again and wandering,
through Shadows in my Mind.
Walking in the Darkness wondering
If any light I'll find.
I dont see much hope in front of me,
It's fading with the Time,
I dont feel much like continuing,
Think I'll just stay behind.
There's no point in a search for light,
That in the distance glows.
I cant find one to shine on me,
No lights I've come to know.
I try to scream to draw attention,
But only seem to laugh.
No one would hear me, or they'd fear
The Shadows that I cast.
So I just find my cold embrace,
And rock myself to sleep.
Prtending that it's someone else,
That's right here holding me.
But my Dreams are Lonely, as my mind,
As I've known Life to be.
And when I wake again, I know,
I'll find myself Lonely.
I push away all Hope I find,
Of seeing shining light.
I cant trust anyone to stay,
Even those that I think might.
I just don't understand myself,
Wish I wasnt this way.
I sit here making all my weather,
Then cry when I find only rain.
I wish I could just find myself,
Instead of someone else.
Maybe if I know myself,
I'd find I need no help.
No one to shine upon me light,
For I would shine my own.
And I wouldn't need a painted face
To show me that I'm not alone.