Accident

I don't know why our colors have bled the way they have.
I'm not sure as to why our breath grew out of synch.
For all of this day, and days upon calenders,
I've been trying to bask in a light that doesn't shine for me.

Maybe you're aware of what I'm trying to convey,
Or maybe you'll tell yourself you aren't.
You want me to talk, or you're leaving again.
I'd spill my guts, but they'd just clog up the drain.

You say, "I've been there, we all have,"
Or something reassuring, but I'm not sure I heard you quite clearly.
It's never so bad that I just want it all to end,
But, dear god, I'd kill to be in less worrisome skin.

It's like my demons are the rightful owner of this body,
And I'm just a passerby that's unwelcome by all.
Maybe if I set it right and take them all with me,
I could justify this horrifying call.

And I step on that ledge in my mind every night,
But I always back out because I fear the height.
Then your voice is in my ear, and it's all that I hear,
So I slip and somehow lose my footing.

It was an accident, I swear it.