deepundergroundpoetry.com
PUB
the bar writhes
like a jam jar filled
with dying wasps
in late summer
placed on
somebody's windowsill
to stop them going further
Published 30th Jun 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 6
reads 918
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jul 2013 00:32am
Anonymous
1st Jul 2013 8:12pm
It's short but it's poignant, but I think more could be said here.
11th Oct 2013 4:21pm
Meaning gets lost in too many words. Why wipe your arse with a 100 quid note when you know it's gonna end up covered in shit? JMO, but this is fine as it is.
11th Oct 2013 5:03pm
No, this is complete in what it says, and needs nothing added. It ends perfectly, though you probably already knew that, though opinions may differ.
3rd Jul 2013 00:27am
