Rape

The night you shoved your fingers into my body
and penetrated my humanity
I knew everything was over.
I became a slave to your every evil,fleshy desire
I can still taste the fluids you shoved in my mouth,
the way they trickled into my throat
and down my unguarded chin.
My screams of pain,blood curdling pain
still echo in my ears monotonously in tune
as though someone had a record player on the very
same song,over and over again.
Most of the time it just feels like bee's inside my head
or ocean waves crashing amongst the jagged cliffs
of villages burned down by angry men
with guns,fire,and power.
Oh yes power.
That's something you know well,isn't it?
I mean you tie me down every time
you want your way with me.
Oh I use to fight,fight it hard and for long hours too,
but I gave up,just like all the other before me.
I no longer fight any more.
I no longer care.
I wish,
Oh how I wish,because death,
death my friend
would be something far more greater than this,
"game" we "play".
The one in which you,
you
You pull me from behind and push me hard against the floor
even when I say "No" or "Stop".
But you just keep going,pulling off my pants,
sticking your hand down into my vagina,
pushing your way through,
because that's all you care about really is
the "inevitable prize,inside the box"
and the more of it there is,the happier you are,
regardless is someone tell you
"No that was my cereal and my prize to keep."
You don't even ask for permission,because why should you?
It's that same old mentality of
"If I want it,I fucking get it."
Literally,fucking.
Taking away some poor girls life and dreams
so that you can have fucking power over them
and every time we scream
Oh man,oh man do your eyes light up with joy.
Dosen't it bother you at night?
Do you ever wake up screaming,or hear the
echoing screams in your ear?
Because I sure as fucking hell do.
I'm the one who has to listen to you voice
as it torments my every private thought.
I'm the one who has to take a shower everyday,
scrub my skin raw,just to get the smell of you off me,
even then it's not enough.
My skin bleeds,how do I explain that to them?
Tell me how do I do that?
I'm the one who sees your face in my dreams
and wakes of screaming in the night
with tears flooding down my face.
Did you know that I can't even leave my house
for the fear that you might be right there,
just around the corner,ready to take my pants off,
shove one hand on my breast
and the other around my belt loop,making there way
down...
down...
down,
sticking your fingers in and out of my vagina,
prepping there way for the next step
as you pull down your pants
and shove yourself deep with in me,
not minding the screams that
I am asking you to "STOP!",nor
the blood that pools down around us,
covering out feet in a crimson haze,
because you sir,got your eyes on the prize,
didn't you?

(I honestly feel like this is very poorly written)