You are bearable

STOP IT!!!!! STOP PANICKING
IT WONT BE TOO BAD
IT WILL ALL BE OVER BEFORE U KNOW IT...

IS IT AN OPERATION
IS IT A PROCESS
IS IT A HAUNT
DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO BE THIS BAD...

ARE U SURE ITS MEANT FOR ME
ARE U SURE ITS BEARABLE
IS IT EVEN MINE
WHY ME...

MY NAME IS HAZEL MHLABA, I WAS ONCE 10 BUT NOW 23, STILL DONT UNDERSTAND THOUGH, STILL IN SHOCK AND JUST CANT FIGURE IT OUT, IF I AM A BUSH WITH SMALL EDIBLE NUTS, WHY AM I SO FILTHY, WHY AM I SO STACKED UP AND TORMENTED. I AM EDIBLE, YES I DONT HURT BUT WHY AM I SO HURT...

I AM A WRITER, I WROTE SO MUCH THAT I DONT WANNA WRITE ANYMORE, I READ SO MUCH THAT MA MIND IS IN PILES NOW AND WILL REACH ITS HIGH IN NO TYM, I LOVED A LOT OF THINGS SO MUCH THAT I ENDED UP NOT LOVING A SINGLE THING NO MORE, I CRIED SO MUCH THAT EVEN A SINGLE LASH AFFECTS MY DRY EYES NOW.

I AM A TRUE BELIEVER BUT YEARN TO STOP WHEN YOU GO AWOL ON ME, I BELIEVE IN GOD BUT SOMETIMES FEEL HE GOES UNAVAILABLE FOR DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, EVEN YEARS. I CUT MY HAIR WITHOUT HIM KNOWING, I WENT BALD N HE DIDN'T REALIZE, IT EVEN GREW BACK AND NOW ABOUT 2 INCHES LONG AND IT IS ONLY NOW THAT HIS TELLING ME SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT, IM NOT THE SAME ANYMORE, STILL UNAWARE THAT MY HAIR IS NOT AS LONG AS IT USED TO BE... I WANNA TELL HIM BUT STOP 4 A WHILE AND THINK TO MYSELF 'IF HE IS A LIVING GOD HE SHUD SEE IT".

IT TOOK HIM 4EVER, DID HE GIVE UP ON ME, HAVE I FORSAKEN HIM, AM I LIVING IN THE DARK THAT NOT EVEN GOD CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE, AM I WRONG? AS I TRIED TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS, I MESSED UP, GOT CONFUSED, WENT BLIND, DID THE RANDOM AND LET THE DEVIL LIE TO ME.

I WOKE UP ONE DAY WITH A WORN OUT HEART, I THOUGHT THE PROCEDURE WAS OVER AND DONE WITH, I THOUGHT THE OPERATION WAS SUCCESSFUL, I THOUGHT THE HAUNT HAD STOPPED AND I NOW BELONGED TO THE DEVIL HIMSELF. I TOOK MY SHAVING MACHINE N JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO TURN MASELF BALD AGAIN, I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING I WENT THROUGH AND HOW GOD HAD NOT NOTICED... MY HAIR WAS NOW ABOUT 5INCHES LONG. I SWITCHED OFF THE MACHINE AND GOT SILENT FOR HOURS...

I KNEW GOD PUT ME IN THIS FOR A REASON. I JUST LOOKED UP, TOOK A HEAVY SIGH AND SMILED..." IM NOT GONNA CUT MY HAIR AGAIN" IN A FEW DAYS I HAD FOUND MY MAN... THAPELO, HE IS MINE AND OH GOD YOU ARE BEARABLE.