FOR ANY KIND OF LOVE            

               
so hard              
to cast away              
whatever              
common sense              
i once thought              
I may have              
had              
to trade it off              
without much thought              
for this new              
senselessness              
i feel              
im now here              
left alone              
with              
yet still somehow              
here in              
this latent              
but hopefully              
not too late              
self reflective
introspective            
retrospect            
i realize now            
my responsibility            
is to myself            
alone            
to seek out              
locate              
and reclaim              
whatever shreds              
may still be              
left              
of my shipwrecked            
deep sixed            
near drowned            
betrayed      
knocked off      
its center      
still presently derailed      
shell shocked      
numbed out sense      
of whatever      
other      
stronger sense      
of personal      
integrity      
i not so      
very long ago      
felt  thought      
believed and knew      
i once      
truly had      
up until here      
just recently      
that is        
oh help me              
for i think              
i may be              
falling                    
out of love      
with the very      
idea of love      
with myself      
and with this      
my present life            
again              
but hopefully by              
tomorrow morning              
i may              
wake up feeling              
just              
a little different              
than i am      
and do             
here now              
thinking perhaps              
just maybe              
i may be              
only              
partially insane              
for at this point              
in my current              
quandarys              
confused circumstances              
any amount              
of change              
or clearer insights              
to shed              
new light              
upon my doubtful              
thoughts and feelings              
regarding this              
present new            
hastily proclaimed            
so called love              
thats come              
into my life            
perhaps            
in painful vain            
again            
no matter how big              
or small              
would be                    
a positive sign            
of at least            
some inner growth              
which regardless          
of whatever outcome          
may or may not          
result          
from this still          
uncertain            
sudden realization            
i sense              
and intuitively trust              
that i will              
still be able              
to seek out              
locate              
and hopefully              
somehow find              
some more gentle              
loving              
forgiving way              
of returning                    
to myself              
again              
all those truer              
parts of me              
i either gave up              
cast off              
over compromised              
set aside              
left behind                      
denied              
sold out              
gave away              
like pearls      
thrown              
to way too many  
undeserving      
human swine              
or somehow  
otherwise           
lost              
which i more              
clearly              
realize now              
should never              
be thus              
sacrificed              
too freely shared              
nor compromised              
for any kind              
of human love              
tethered to              
the hopeful sadness              
of this        
long  lost           
broken world              
alone              
nor nothing else        
beyond it              
alas
perhaps        
at all