deepundergroundpoetry.com
Painting of Your Face
I'll keep a painting of your face,
Locked up in my heart.
So every time it beats,
My veins turn into art.
Skies of blue and purple,
Stars expoding in your eyes.
I'd hold your hand forever,
Whether its day or night.
Kissing through the smoke,
And shining moon light.
You introduced me to a new life,
Where everything feels right.
Rain drops for heart beats,
Lets make a storm.
When blood turns to ice,
Will you keep me warm?
A love so strong,
With a girl so weak.
Butterflies flutter,
When I hear your voice speak.
Locked up in my heart.
So every time it beats,
My veins turn into art.
Skies of blue and purple,
Stars expoding in your eyes.
I'd hold your hand forever,
Whether its day or night.
Kissing through the smoke,
And shining moon light.
You introduced me to a new life,
Where everything feels right.
Rain drops for heart beats,
Lets make a storm.
When blood turns to ice,
Will you keep me warm?
A love so strong,
With a girl so weak.
Butterflies flutter,
When I hear your voice speak.
Published 11th Nov 2010
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Apr 2011 1:25am
This piece has some good novel ideas, but also several overused cliches. I particularly love the idea of the first stanza, and the fourth stanza has some good imagery. However, "I'll hold your hand forever/Whether it's day or night" is a bit cliche, as is "Butterflies flutter/When I hear your voice speak." Other than those however, solid poem.
