Fiend For Freedom

Drowning in fermented sorrow,
not sure if I'll make it  
through the night,
empty
liquor bottles,
ashtrays with heaters
still smoking,
trying to find tomorrow,
unless I end my life.  
 
Get these fucking Demons
out of my head,
out of my heart,
'cause their torturous tricks got me
torn the fuck apart.
 
If only I could break free
from the heavy chains of addiction,
figure out a way to escape this prison;
so many years,
so many toxins,
like they were my prescription.
 
Crushed up,
snorted, smoked and dropped,
drink to excess,
how in the fuck can I make it
out alive if I can't find a way
to stop?
 
No love in my life
'cause I'm too fucking unstable,
can't even afford to eat,
let alone
sit civilized at the dinner table.
 
Stomach empty,
drugs plenty,
trying
to figure out where I went
wrong;
lighter lit,
blowing out smoke
from this green water
bong.
 
Time is running
out,
hands twitching,
I can't say
that I'll ever be clean;
struggling with depression,
skin bleeding,
no hope in sight,
self destructive
fiend.