We bout to fight

this poem is just a satire, I do not condone any form of violence, let me know if it made you chuckle, laugh out loud or smirk.  
   
   
She jumped out of bed in the dark    
fumbling around knocking her head    
baby where are you going    
to use the bathroom she says    
the door shuts, the sound of a splash    
I dilly dallied to the door real fast    
   
MOTHERFUCKER she screams    
   
shit! I forget to put the seat down on the latrine    
her butt cheeks deep in toilet water    
she looks mad as heck pouting her lip    
   
A loud laugh follows, shit funny as hell    
next thing I heard was the sound of a bell    
but we don't own any clocks I thought to myself    
as the side of my face begins to swell    
   
we bout to fight motherfucker that was all she said.    
   
I remember one thanksgiving at her parents house    
my babes was looking sexy and cute in her short mini blouse    
we sat at the dinner table, ready to eat    
her moms called out her name, my babes leaped on her feet    
now her plate was next to mine with all kind of delicious treats    
corn bread, apple pie, mac and cheese, collards, turkey and all kinds of meat
   
my stomach growling ever so loudly so I began to eat    
my baby taking too long, the apple pie taste so sweet    
before you know my plate was empty, completely clean  
but I was still hungry if you know what I mean    
I didn't want to seem greedy so I helped myself to some of babes cause I'm needy    
she's so sweet and kind hearted never objecting to charity    
   
she came back to the table and gave me a look of disgust    
her apple pie was gone there was only small remnants of crust    
we hopped in the car headed home for the night    
she stopped in an alley way can you imagine my fright    
she looked me straight in the face with her two fists in sigh    
ahh shit! I know what coming me and babes about to fight.    
   
One Friday night my babe gave me the snub    
she and her girlfriends had an unplanned girl night so I called my best bud    
yes mi lion, mi down fi mek a move for the night    
Mi hear nuff artist dey at apostrophe it ago pack fi the night    
as we walked through the door your boy was looking sharp and debonaire    
the dj played gyal ah bubble, crowd ah people raise them hand inna the air    
moving my waistline I felt a big firm bumper behind    
so mi grab her round her waist and the two ah we start to whine    
now I was tipsy, it was hot and I was feeling the sensation    
she pressed her bumper hard up against me and I rose to the occasion    
she put one arm around my neck looking sweet as she looked up    
in a steamy passionate moment our lips began touch    
then unexpectedly the whole place began to erupt    
against the side of my face the blood began to gush    
there was my babes with blood all over her brand new porcelain clutch    
screaming and yelling at me, looking mad as fuck    
   
she grabbed me by my collar and dragged my ass out the club    
baby I'm sorry, my throat made a loud sounding gulp    
my heart weakens, my legs begins to shake, and I couldn't take flight    
you can only imagine whats in store for me the rest of the night    
damn my babes starts to swing while yelling "ahhh shit motherfucker" we bout to fight.